thursday 07.20.2000
and before the calm
once again i let myself get just to dang busy to get here, as much as i need this
outlet. but the last few days have been...full. i haven't necessarily gotten anything
done, but that hasn't made them any LESS full. i haven't even been doing any reading!
add to that, what i SHOULD be doing is becoming the hardest to do, while what i
have been putting off for ages is topmost on my mind! talk about distractions.
i haven't even done ANY reading (after tearing through the first 2 harry potter
books in 3 days).
the whole internet explosion thing seems to be over for the moment. the group
that had such horrible timing is split in two with interesting results. first,
the other group is using almost the same name and domain name as the original group.
i think somewhere there is an internic rule against it, but hey, there it is. i
suppose if the head of the original group ever gets a chance, she'll do something
about it (whatever it is she can do that is). in the mean time, the second group
continues to use the chaos to its advantage, riding in on the coat tails of a
previously established group. the leaders have also decided that the members of
their group cannot also be members of the original group, forcing sisters out
if they choose to do so. and they claim the leader of the original group is a
little hitler? the sad things is i see friendships being torn up over this. women
who don't want to choose because of friends they care about on both sides are
being FORCED to do so. makes me even more glad i am NOT there.
however, i missed my friends and the mail and...the sistership. these were women
that i could go to. i met women who i have developed such friendships with that
they ARE my sisters to me. so i approached the leader of the original group and
told her i wanted to, i missed everything, but, in essence, there was nothing
for me to do there. the committees i was once a part of had been torn asunder
and were in chaos, many of them leaderless as far as i could tell. she asked me
to become a leader.
not only was i startled, but i was wary. i had heard so much mud slinging from
both sides about how it was as a leader of the group, i honestly was not sure
i wanted to go there. if i am given control of something, like my team at tsf,
then i honestly don't need someone else telling me what to do. i tend to work
in my own way, and don't want to be forced to conform to someone else's way just
because its their way. we all have our best working style. after talking with
a few others, i decided to take it. and so far, i am being given reasonably free
reign. however, now, in addition to 6 country sets, i have 2 committees to pull
back together from the ground up. and i am finding my brain on vacation at the
most inappropriate time.
instead i have a creed album bringing me thoughts
in video. i now have the ending of the game firmly etched in my mind. and
have managed to make my kids sick of "one". so tonight (it's almost
2 a.m. as i write this) i thought i would work on the game. wrong. i am nowhere
NEAR the end and its all i can see at the moment. the beginning is started, the
ending is in my head and written in my notes,the rest is work. as much or more
work than the committee stuff.
so things right now are hectic, even chaotic as i sort out the various responsibilities
i have agreed to hold, my personal time and my website. so i started working on
some gorgeous gemstone tubes from some scans instead.
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