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friday 07.07.2000
thinking in video

i think in video. particularly when certain songs come on. when those songs that inspire my video thinking come on, i literally see the images in my head to the music. most of this thinking in video is in relation to gaming. or, more precisely, the ad&d game i have run 3 times and plan to run for a 4th. in fact, for that game i even DREAM in video.

this is actually not the first time i have dreamt/thought in video. as a teenager had my first "video dream". to this day i can remember that particular dream. i can smell the smells, i see the colors, i remember the feelings evoked by certain events in the dream, and i chuckle at some of the weirdness that occurs in all dreams. vivid imagination, i know. but it was also very intense and personal. i don't often have dreams like that and this one, with it message of promise, just stuck with me.

other than my usual "visual snippets", however, i haven't done much other dreaming or thinking in video that has made much of an impact. at least not enough to remember it 15 years later. most my other visual thinking is things like "seeing" my work. most of the time if i can't see it in my head before hand, it won't get done. this is especially true of web and graphic design. not that what i create comes close to what i am seeing, but what i am seeing inspires me to create.

but i dream and think of my ad&d game in video. especially when certain songs come on. i can see the main character and her lifemate together. i can see the guardian in battle. i see the entire group coming into a town. i have created entire new scenarios and adventures based on what i see when the mental video plays. to me it's powerful. it keeps me thinking of the game. it makes those scenes, those adventures more memorable for when i do write them down. and it certainly makes my dreams and my music more interesting.

it also provides a distraction that doesn't interfere with whatever else i am doing at the time. i can listen to my music, do whatever else i am doing and run my mental videos without much trouble. the only thing i can't do that with is reading. when i read, i can "see" what's happening, which must be why textbook type reading can be so hard for me to concentrate on i think. it's a different way of seeing and that "seeing" interferes with my video thinking. on those occasions when a song comes on the brings about my mental video, i stop reading. i have to, i can't do both.

however this dreaming in video can be quite frustrating in relation to the game. right now my players are scattered, dealing with summer stuff, moving stuff, and other personal stuff. getting this game started isn't a high priority right now. with that in mind, i am certainly not motivated to write anything down or work on it even if i have the mental videos running. even though i realize some of this stuff will probably slip away in my swiss cheese memory, i just can't get myself to work on the game, especially with so much else to do. the game isn't immediate, it isn't demanding attention, my players aren't begging to start. the down side: when they are ready to play i won't be.

still, i am getting good ideas (and the ones i really like i know will stay with me in some way), and am being entertained without having to pay for it. and somehow i don't think i will ever listen to my "video" songs in quite the same way ever again, so the inspiration, however small, will always be with me. i just need to work on the motivation part of things and i'm all set. it i'll get it all down....some day.

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Since July 9, 2000

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