what a week, pt2
thursday, january 31, 2019


i'm trying to figure out what the hell happened this week. did i speak differently than usual? did i just manage to find the most sensitive people on the net? were they the ones who sent trolls to my you tube channel or was that just the luck of the draw that several hit my channel at once? then there was the software crash that gave me a heart attack. and the last two days with facebook...what the hell?

i am getting things done, but seriously, 2019, this was not how this year was supposed to start. the first week was great. come on now, get it together. i want a good year!

so, somehow i managed to totally irritate at least three people on facebook...and it was NOT with politics. one girl called me rude for responding to her comment. seriously. just for responding. she even mentioned me by name...and i wasn't supposed to respond. i asked a question wanting her to clarify her comment (it literally made no sense to me, thought that's not what i said). i suspect she got me booted from that group. second girl responded to my comment on a post telling me i shouldn't have commented since my response was off topic and had nothing to do with said post, then told me i didn't need to respond to her comment. then today, i pointed out an obvious fact, and someone got all out of joint because they should be able to complain over obvious shit if they want to. uh, sure, that's fine, i was just pointing something out that kind of made her complaint ridiculous, though i didn't say that.

i admit, there are times when i get out of hand on facebook. i don't try to be rude, but sometimes something will make me so angry that, well, i get rude (and sweary). but try as i might, i can't for the life of me see what i said, or even how i said it, that set these women off.

the kicker? it's over makeup.

i love makeup. i have become something of a collector. some of that is for the channel (there are definitely things i've purchased that i wouldn't have without the channel), but a good portion of it is for me. i'm discovering things about my hair and skin i never imagined. i love playing with the colors. i'm enjoying the creativity of it. but it's still just makeup. it's not all that life threatening. i didn't tell anyone their makeup play was horrible or they shouldn't do whatever they were doing they way they did it. i gave my opinions on products or product producers. for example, i won't support kat von d because she's an anti-vaxer and anti-semitic. whenever anyone asks about her products, i mention i don't support her and why. i don't say they can't support her, i say why I won't support her. yes, i want to get the word out about her and brands that aren't inclusive, but in the end, it's up to the consumers. i still run into people who have no idea about kvd or tarte, and some of them might make different choices if they did know. but i always say why I won't buy from those companies. that's it. people get worked up over the dumbest things.

not long after i irritated the first two ladies, some dumb asses started trolling my channel. rude comment after rude comment. a third commentor hit with absolutely disgusting remarks later in the week, but some of "his" comments implied he was with at least one of the other two (who had gotten either hidden or blocked). now, rude comments and trolls are just part of the social media experience. but for a channel as small as mine, three in the space of a few days is a bit much. hell, three in the space of a month (from my year long experience on yt) is a bit much. i've gotten maybe a half dozen trolls since i started the channel, i still have less than 1000 subscribers. all my other numbers (comments, likes, etc) line up with what i've seen percentage wise on other channels. so while i admit i could be wrong, this definitely felt like a deliberate, directed attack.

i'm fine. irritated, but fine. there are ways to deal with trolls that don't require direct confrontation. but. but trolls are also known to get more aggressive even when you don't confront them, and you never know which troll will try to level it up. so i'm making changes on the channel to reduce the chance of taz being exposed to any kind of risk. it's ridiculous that people can't just pass on by stuff they don't like or feel the need to attack in any way, shape, or form people they don't like (which is another thing i find bizarre: if you don't know me, how can you hate me so much). if someone's life choices don't affect you, leave them the fuck alone. there's just no need for the anonymity bullying crap that the internet seems to encourage.

facebook has been a pain, but it's usable. i'm having miscellaneous loading problems that are just irritating. hopefully they'll sort out, though i've also seen some issues with instagram at this point as well. i was ready to blame my internet connection (which has been shit since we downgraded the speed: more drop offs and downtime than ever), but i'm not having problems anywhere else (other than the multiple moments where the wifi goes down just about every day). i hope it's either that stupid chat integration thing they're doing or some other new code roll out that will fix itself. annoying, but workable.

but i almost had a heart attack when my cookbook software reverted to a trial version with no days left on it for no reason. i purchased it 8 years ago, and since then it appears the company that made it went belly up. there are tons of complaints about the software still being on sale (no updates since 2016, i believe? maybe earlier), the web site for the original company being m.i.a., and no customer service responses at all. because i was having issues getting my code and key to work, that there was no customer service freaked me the fuck out. literally ALL our custom cupcake recipes are in that software. there are other recipes as well, but those, plus my husband's personal recipes can't be recreated. the good news is that i figured out how to fix it. i had to take the key text file and put it in the software folder. key and code now work. but you better believe i'm copying and pasting all those recipes into a document file. not risking losing those again.

so, yea, what a week! again. it hasn't been all bad, but it sure has been distracting. that said, still managing two out of three exercise days, still keeping to my filming schedule. my writing is more hit than miss. and hubs and i have our first doctor appointments in two years. so despite this week's crazy, we're in a good place. i'm feeling good, getting things done, and feel like we're in a good place at the moment. hubs is really happy with his job, so he's in a good place too. money is tight, but...we're not nearly as stressed as we used to be. and i'll take that even with the trolls.