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monday december 5, 2011

there's more of the usual crap going on right now, and some stress being added by linnorm. i'm not sure if he was intentionally being hurtful by bringing up things that i know we have to talk about right when i least can approach them, or if it was just dumb timing on his part. regardless, the timing was off, and as much as i know the discussions needs to be had, i just wish he'd held off for a bit.

however, irritation aside, there are other things i want to talk about. cool things. some things that are cool and kinda...scary at the same time?

first. this week is the last cooking practical saxy has ever. either tomorrow or tuesday, he'll cook whatever menu is selected for him (recipes allowed, thank god), and once it's done, it is done. after that, all he has to do is finish a project for his other class, and he has two weeks to work on it. he has one day where he needs to go in and do clean up of the student restaurant, but other than that, one class done, the last one has no formal meetings until it's time to present their portfolios. it's revisions time for him. he can contact the chef heading the class whenever he needs to, but he's pretty much working on his own.

in other words, he's pretty much done. unless he ignores the project entirely, he won't tank either class. i wish i could be there to see the portfolio show, especially since he's also getting an academic award (as is probably anyone with a 3.0 or higher gpa), but i'd have to be there all day and someone needs to be home for taz. but even though i can't go see it the show, he knows i'm incredibly proud of him. he's done. it's not been easy for any of us, but now he can work on making the sacrifices worth it and getting into the career he should have started years ago.

the job is going well. it really looks like he's being groomed for a promotion, so he wants to hang onto the catering job. he really is happy there. the only problem right now is the inconsistent hours. he's decided, once he's out of school, he'll look for a day job/lunch service restaurant to help make up the hours on weeks when the catering hours aren't there. me, i'm just glad he's happy, and i'll support whatever decision he makes for the jobs. i won't be seeing much of him, but right now we need to get out of this house into something cheaper and do some catching up and stabilizing more than we need a lot of time together.

the other event this week is froggy turns 18 on friday.


the last of my kids is going to be an adult, at least by age. taz is closer to 14 in development, and i'm not too sure froggy is really there either. she's actually the one i worry about the most. my older girls were pretty much ready to go out the door long before they were 18. had some learning to do, and in jewel's case, needed to do, but were ready. taz will pretty much live with someone all his life to make sure he does what he needs to do and is generally taken care of. youngest...well, first there's the sticky finger problem. it's gotten better but not gone, and that could really screw her up. but, as much as stealing pleases no one, she's something of a people pleaser, and i worry about that. i don't want her to be easily taken advantage of or to get into something bad because she wanted to make someone else happy. on the other hand, she's the only one of the girls who seems to get that when the ship is going down, you jump in to plug the holes. so i don't know. i worry about it.

but she has some time. she's still in high school and really needs to focus on getting through it, so i'm not requiring her to get a job even though she's 18. it would be distracting. she has goals that require her to get through high school.

but 18! o.O

i'm the mother of adults now! it's just...weird.

my son will be with me all my life, or at least until i'm too old to take care of him myself, but this is the place in most parents' lives where they start looking forward to an empty nest, to time without kids underfoot all the time. in a couple of years, once taz has some kind of job, i'll be looking at finding something that allows me to take him to work, work the same hours, and pick him up after. and, yes, i'm assuming that writing will not support me. publishers aren't paying a supporting wage, too many books don't earn out their advances which means the author has a smaller chance of publishing again. not every author sinks, but most don't make a supporting wage anymore, and that's just the realities of the biz. so, more than likely, i'll need to find something i can do to help get the boat on an even keel.

anyway, this week marks the beginning of the end of the tunnel. we're not through yet, but hubs will be able to take on more hours. tax time, hopefully we can move out of this nightmare house. summer, youngest can pick up a job, and hopefully she'll be able to manage the job and high school together next year. it's cool stuff. scary stuff! but cool.


word of the moment: quadratura

wall or ceiling painted with arches and columns in strong perspective

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