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frustration
monday, february 23, 2009


reading my journal?
then read me

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this day in . . .
2000 . 2001 . 2002
2003 . 2004 . 2005
2006 . 2007 . 2008

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one year at a time
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give me them all

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site of the moment:
M.C.Escher

author of the moment:
Keiko Tobe

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whysper
words count
journeys

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domytriesthis

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domynoes.com
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~*~

Red Lily courtesy of
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it is no secret that this release has been a freaking nightmare. the galleys were sent way too late, one ended up being kicked back to the editor since it's not ready for publication, the other has gone through 5 different checks, and the release? still a day late even after being given an extra week!

no, this doesn't have me all worked up, not at all.

but, seriously, the deadlines better work because no job is worth this frustration, especially when it pays so little. as in i get cheap $10 hosting each month that's hardly worth it (since the domain goes down A LOT) and royalties that i still haven't reached the $20 minimum on. love of the work? not worth the aggravation. really. i love working on my own writing just as much (or more!) and won't get paid for it right away either. i can use the extra hours doing that instead.

when i'm done with dishes tonight? sooooo working out my frustration on the ps3.

then there's froggy. i am at my wit's end with the stealing and have just about resigned myself to having to visit her in prison some day. nothing has worked to stop this and, after 7 years of it, i suspect nothing will keep her from being sticky fingers. she keeps saying she's 'getting better!', and then i turn around and find something else gone! that she's taking someone else's lunch just doesn't phase her. she even takes the breakfast bars we got just for her and sneaks them at other times.

worse, she's becoming a snail when it comes to chores and her grades are dropping again. i cannot afford to pay $300+ per class she fails.

now, i suspect part of the problem here is kitten's reliance on her for baby cat's care. it's been hard on kitten, but she's got to step up to being mom again and not rely on froggy to do so much.

we've also made it clear that homework is to be done at home, not on the bus, not in the last 15 minutes of class while she waits for the bus, and so on. this is obviously not working for her, so it's time to put our foot down and have her do the work at home. i also need to contact her teachers and find out what's up in the classroom. the whole mess has me pulling my hair out. froggy is a sweet, bright girl, and this just breaks my heart.

plus we've had two weeks of sick running around the house. it seems to have finally departed, but taz had to be home, kitten was down, the baby has been on amoxicillin (and then became crabby when she realized getting better meant no more coddling), even saxy who rarely ever gets sick came down with the crud. i think we all got tired of soup pretty darn fast. plus i suspect i need to get my vitamins again fast. even when i can sleep (saxy has been pretty darn loud the last month or so--he even wakes me in the middle of the night sometimes), i'm still tired. this is not a good sign for an anemic, and tells me my iron tabs just may not be enough by themselves. i'll pick up vitamins when i refill the megace on friday.

and saxy's job is getting on my last nerve. the cheats keep taking much needed money out of his checks and keeping him too busy for him to go in and point out the errors. he's even had calls he's NOT been paid for. really, i can't wait until things start getting better job-wise and he can report the assholes to the labor board. right now we're looking at at least $400 he's not been paid since he got hired, and that doesn't count the stuff he actually got them to correct. i imagine a whole year or more of this bull will bring that number up quite a bit.

really, i'm not usually that vengeful, but these guys have me ready to go and give them a piece of my mind. unethical bastards.

all this would make it seem we've had nothing but bad the last few weeks, but that's not quite the case. the laptop is helping out A LOT. in fact, i'm on it more than the desktop these days. i come up to the desktop for web stuff like this and email, pretty much. most everything else is done on the laptop. i don't have anything at lilley in edits right now, but i suspect that will mostly be done here on the desktop as well. i tried working with open office today and had a few problems that i'm sure are just because i'm not accustomed to it, but i also couldn't find the dialogue box to help me set the colors for tracking changes. i might eventually move editing to the laptop, but for now the more familiar program is the easiest. plus, transferring files back and forth everyday is a pain in the butt.

we also just received our newest phone bill and the cost has gone down even more than i expected it to. seriously, it was over $60 less. now all we need to do is get the go phone and we'll STILL be saving $30/month on phone costs.

the other good thing i noticed is that my plan to use the normal activities of life that i bailed on when i became ill last year as a way to help me rebuild my strength and stamina seems to be working. in december, climbing stairs left me totally winded and i needed help grocery shopping. dishes were a nightmare of pain. now, however, i can do a complete grocery trip at one store all by myself, and it's only painful when it involves a lot of heavy items. i can even unload the car and put things away. the stairs still wind me a little, but not nearly as bad, and dishes can still cause pain but not as much and i'm getting them done faster. laundry, well, still have a few issues with it, but i'm managing. at this rate, if we ever get a real vacuum cleaner, i just might be able to do that on my own too! and, yes, i know it sounds odd that i'd look forward to it, but i do, more for the fact that it will be another step forward in my recovery. one of these days i'll actually be able to start real exercise! ;)

speaking of domestic duties, better go finish those dishes if i expect to take out any of my frustration on ps and still get to bed at a semi-reasonable hour.

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word of the momentt: munificent

very generous; very liberal in giving or bestowing; lavish; characterized by great liberality or generosity

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