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monday, december 15, 2008

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today has been a bad day -- a day filled with disappointment, frustration, and things not happening as they should. the first is the washer and dryer fiasco. a friend of kitten's was going to get one to us a few days ago, no monday, no can't do it monday but i'll come down and help pay for and do the laundry. then he doesn't show for even that and doesn't bother to call. so, about that washer and dryer? i'm seriously doubting this will happen, and it's really irritating me, but not for the reasons you would think.

let's get one thing straight. this guy owes me nothing. he's not obligated to me in any way. he pretty much just met my daughter at work and took a liking to her. so, really, if he doesn't get us the washer and dryer, it's not like it's anything i really should expect to have, if you know what i mean.

however, if you make a promise, you should follow through or explain why you can't instead of shining people on. i hate it when people break promises. giving your word should mean something, not be a bunch of bullshit people can't trust. follow through or don't promise to begin with. this is one of my biggest pet peeves and one of the things that i think is most wrong with the world right now: people who make promises and then think absolutely nothing of breaking them. if you know you won't be able to do it, don't promise. if something comes up, then freaking come clean.

so, while this guy doesn't owe me a washer and dryer, he made a promise of one to my daughter, and has since broken that promise not once, but twice. and, honestly, this is not something my daughter needs right now. she's already dealing with a lot of broken promises and trust issues because of the ex. what she needs now is people she can trust on their word, not idiots who say shit just to impress her then fail to follow through.

and bringing up the soon to be ex brings up the rest of today's mess. he owes her $460 in child support: $200 of it now, $260 in back support. he agreed to pay $400. guess how much we've received today?

if you said "zero", give yourself the prize.

instead of money, jackass gave her threats. he's not going to send her her stuff, or file the paperwork that would allow the army to help pay to send her stuff, not even the box of heirloom, one of a kind, handmade ornaments that are irreplaceable. as far as he's concerned, all her shit is his because he paid her rent at the apartment, and the only place he's going to send it is to the bottom of the ocean. and it gets worse. he's told her that if she continues to threaten his rank by calling his superiors when he refuses to do what he's supposed to do, he will sue her for everything she has (a whole lot of nothing, by the way) and custody of the baby. he's threatening to "bury (her) so deep, she has to work ten jobs to get out of it". it's 11:30 here, so it's 5:30 there...and there's still no money in the bank, not even the $200 he's told her to make do with or else. apparently christmas shopping for his family was more important than paying any of his child support.

the fighting has been crazy, and i finally told her she's going to have to try to calmly tell him, "all i want is my keepsakes and the child support. if you won't do that, i will talk to the people who can get it taken care of for me." and that's it. nothing more, nothing less. if he starts threatening her, it's time to say, "i'm not going to do this with you any more, so i'm going now." period. right now, getting under her skin is the only control that control freak has, so she has got to take it away from him. no more fighting about all the unimportant things he has of hers (assuming he still has anything of hers), no more asking if he wants to talk to baby cat -- he can bring it up, no more name calling when he gets stupid, nothing. just a simple, this is what i want and if you won't do it, i'll talk to the people who can help me get it done. end discussion. unfortunately, we may just have to write off those keepsakes.

i have to say, i seriously don't get this guy. he wants her to stop calling him about this stuff, wants her to stop calling his superiors about this stuff, but refuses to do the one thing that would get her to stop doing that. he tells her when he forces her out of hawaii before the paperwork is done (oh, that's supposed to be in by next week...again) that he doesn't want anyone (meaning anyone male) to touch his daughter or to hug her or to have anything to do with her, but he never did anything with her and he won't pay the support. and he thinks a judge will find in his favor for custody? especially after his superiors point out that he's become extremely unstable and getting into all kinds of trouble on the job? um...not.

at any rate, by the end of the evening, everyone was pretty tense and upset for one reason or another...or all of the above. christmas just went into the toilet because, hey, that money was to help pay for it! instead of paying the electricity to keep from getting cut off, i'll be calling and trying to get a stay of execution and using the money sent by a friend to get food in the house. poor kitten thinks she's a bad mom because baby cat picked up on everyone's mood and ended up taking a lot longer for me to get down to sleep (and i had to sing "silent night" a dozen times just to settle her down enough to get her to sleep...and it was "silent night" because i couldn't remember any lullabies).

so, yea, this morning, everything was okay. by this evening, everything had gone completely downhill and i now have an entire household that's in various states of upset. it is very hard to get taz to sleep when things get out of hand like that have. kitten has been crying all night. the husband is stressed about the bills. and we're all disappointed about our traditional christmas dinner, which was the only thing we were aiming for this year.

it's been a long day, it's 11:30, and i still have to go to the store and get milk for the morning, do dishes, and take a shower. let's just hope nothing more happens in the process of all of this. i can't take much more downhill than what we've had today.


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