i so don't want to go to work tomorrow. the work thing, in general, is becoming annoying and tedious, even with the changes in classroom almost every day. it interferes with writing. and it means getting up early in the morning, which i can't stand. besides, tomorrow being monday means it's no longer the weekend and the weekend was a good one, for the most part. with 2 good weekends in a row (for once), i hate to see monday come and ruin all that. so i really don't want to go to work tomorrow.
just had to get that out.
as i said, it's an unheard of 2 good weekends in a row. not that everything was cool this weekend . . . there's this whole parenting thing that is really beginning to suck, but, overall, a nice weekend. time spent with family, time spent with the hubby, time spent writing. all good things. all things i want more time to do again.
the one big issue this weekend was, of course, jewel . . . again. i swear, that girl . . . i just wish i knew what the hell she was thinking sometimes. problem is, i'm afraid that most of the time there's no real thinking going on at all. she knows what gets her in trouble . . . and does it anyway. then claims she has no control over her behavior and she just can't fix it! i know we had issues with kitten, but nothing like this. the girl justifies everything, blames everyone else, and sees nothing but the flaws. i mean, seriously, give her a present and, even if it's something she wants, she picks out what's wrong with it! i love her, i truly do, but she really makes me wonder what the hell i was thinking when i became a parent. you'd think it'd be my son that would do that, but no, it's daughter #2.
so, of course, after all the screaming over being grounded until those grades are improved, she pulls a few more things that land her deeper in the hole, resulting in more screaming and the loss of her stereo.
i think what more than one person has told me is true about this girl: she's going to have to learn the hard way. my fear is that she won't learn. either everything will come easy to her so she can thumb her nose at her "stupid" parents, or she will continue to blame the rest of the world for every failure, every problem, every mistake. she just can't seem tot ake responsibility for herself or her actions, can't seem to hear how she talks to people or the attitude she exudes from every pore.
that whole raise each child according to that child's needs thing just hasn't seemed to work in this case. :P
beyond all the drama daughter #2 brought into our lives this weekend, though, it's been a good one. saxy got something of a check on friday to replace the moneys he spent picking something up for my brother. we've got food in the house for a week. the bills are still pretty much at bay, till next week when new stuff starts being delivered. saxy and i even managed a night out alone saturday--dinner and a movie.
today was spent "in the zone" with my writing--over 1500 words on book 3. i haven't felt that pressing need to write like that in a long time and it felt very good.
and my oldest came up for an afternoon "surprise" visit. we met the newest man in her life and saxy and i went out to see narnia with them. the theater wasn't so hot, but the movie was good. we came home for dinner and another movie that we rented via cable. she got to speak to her grandparents in cali as well. then it was time for her to go so we could settle in for the evening.
if it weren't a workday monday, she might still be here. but good weekends don't really end, i suppose. they stay with you in good feelings and warm memories. still, i'd rather the weekend keep on going. even with drama-queen antics, it's worth it.
