i'm frustrated. not with anyone else, really, but with me. with how stupid i've gotten about the money since the move. i don't want to go into it, yet i do, but i won't. i'll just keep being frustrated for a bit longer and hope i can get it together before i prove myself to be a total idiot - assuming i haven't done that already.

the forum thing isn't helping. i can't help but wonder if my hostess, who i like, is avoiding me, is maybe trying to tell me i need to move dii without really telling me to move dii. we did discuss it after the hack, but she said it was up to me - and i'm pretty sure she'd actually tell em to move if she wanted me to. she couldn't run a business very well if wasn't able to be upfront about stuff like that. i'm sure some of this feeling is the total frustration with having to go through the files and do all this posting first at the backup forum, then at the new home forum when we get it. i did start that tonight and managed to make a little progress, but it's going to be an annoying, possibly long term, task. and that's not even counting the crits i need to go through.

someone asked me if it's worth it and, yea, it is. this group is my writing home. the posts i'm trying to salvage are important to the group as a whole. but that doesn't make it any easier to have to do this.

i don't even want to think about the changeover from mt to pmachine right now. and the configuring of my templates and crap.

i could strangle that damn hacker.

i'm sure my hostess could too.

i also get to joy of a parent-teacher conference this friday. one of the kids in my class yesterday resisted adult authority and apparently he is telling one story, the teacher is telling another story, and the parent isn't willing to just go with the statements that i and several other students wrote about the situation. okay, that makes sense to a degree, but i'm real nervous about this meeting.

guess if i'm going to go to full time teaching, i better get my feet wet with the whole parent-teacher thing sometime?

fortunately, not all was bad today. one of the ladies near my classroom today recently took the praxis II middle school language arts exam and had all kinds of good and helpful stuff for me to use to study. it looks like i may have over bought on the books - and generally on the wrong books (why on earth give a list of a dozen or more possible authors and call it a sample if there's only 2 or 3 they even bother to use?), which is a bit frustrating considering we really could use having that money in the account right now, but at least she gave me a better focus on my studies and reading.

anybody got a steinbeck book they can send me? hell, just grapes of wrath or of mice and men would probably do it. not that i really want to read them, but, well, yea.

anyway, i think some of the frustration also comes from not writing or revising anything. i've said before, and quite recently too, i really need to write. instead, i'm studying for a test i'm nervous about and am worried about being able to pay for before the price for it hikes, and working on saving important posts to a backup forum . . . posts that i'll have to eventually post again at our new home forum if it ever gets installed.

damn i'm grumpy tonight.

and hot. i've been too damn hot all day long.

i better not be getting sick.

mrrrh!