there are a number of reasons i chose subbing over getting certified, not the least of which are the needs of my son and my writing. but a lot of those reasons are quickly getting reevaluated. i'm not happy with the idea of going full time, but it's looking more and more like i'll have to. it's not that the reasons for me subbing aren't still valid, it's that our needs and the reasons for going full time are becoming far more important. i still have issues with adding extra years of schooling in a field that i don't mind doing but wasn't really interested in being my primary occupation. not that i would be going for that masters any time soon anyway. and at least there are options to get me in the classroom faster - all i need is to take the praxis.

the main concern has been my son and meeting his needs. i won't put him in day care - there are too many risks for disabled kids. we all hear about the neglect and abuse of little ones, but disabled kids have a much higher risk and i'm just not willing to take the chance. subbing allowed me to be available for him if he gets sick or has other issues that require him to stay home without risking my job. but, as much as i think i'm the better one to stay home, saxy can easily stay home as well, and right now a full time teaching position would pay me more in a month than saxy's job would pay him. and it looks like the two jobs - me teaching full time and him working part time right now but full time in the summer - would complement each other. with the holidays, mcat and saxy don't have quite so much work, but in the summer months - when i wouldn't be working - the work would pick up and saxy could go to full time.

right now the holidays are really cutting into work for both of us, which means the earliest we may be getting everything under control is february. if i were certified, the 3 weeks of vacation time from november through january wouldn't hurt quite so much because i would be paid more for the days i did work. course, this may not be as much an issue if i've been working since school started instead of starting to work right about the time the holidays hit. ;)

as for saxy, he and mcat have less work right now, which means saxy is often getting even less than half time for hours. plus, winter is notoriously the slow down time for any construction and there are some issues that are hurting mcat's business specifically. all of which means less hours and possible delays on pay days for saxy. and all this combined hurts. we're sending our rent in payments again this month because my first check was less than $400. it was a good check for the hours i worked ($78/day, about 9.75/hour, give or take - the most i've earned ever except one summer when i worked at a university program), but it wasn't as much as we thought (which has to do with cut off dates more than anything - i didn't know when they were).

and there are other issues as well. we won't be able to get insurance for saxy if i go full time certified. the money is more too, which means it will be easier to pay things off. a steady schedule, of knowing where i'm going and when at least the day before will help keep mornings from going into a panic, which makes an overall better day for everybody (including the kids i teach). and being in one place gives me a chance to actually make more than passing acquaintances with people. who knows, i might even make a new friend or two.

but it will cut into my writing and it is extra training and or school for me. neither of which i'm particularly happy about. but, i guess, sometimes it isn't about happiness. i won't be able to go for masters for awhile, at least a year, and i can write anyway, it's just going to take a bit of creativity to find the time and not be too tired. and time around the homework i'll be grading. and the lesson planning i'll be doing. and god knows what else.

and taking the praxis? it's been forever since i took a test! i am soooo not looking forward to that, but it's the first thing i need to do before we can really determine if this will work because i need to be working while i train, if i need to take time off to certify, it ain't gonna happen. (yes, i'm an english major, why do you ask?)

but, really, why can't they just accept my cbest scores? :P