i hardly know where to begin. it's been . . . a week. a long week. and probably a long week for just about everyone involved. some days i just have to keep reminding myself that we're already doing better and it can only get better from here. and there are days that telling myself are all that keep me from letting the doubts get to me. it's not easy yet, but we'll get there. well, maybe not easy, but it won;t be as hard as it is now.

one thing i do need to do is tell mcat to not discuss financial stuff with saxy. it's my job to worry about all that. i've been doing the financial finagle for a long time now, i do it pretty well. i do not need saxy freaking out over stuff when i know we've got it covered . . . eventually. granted, this time it was a "surprise" expense and that fact that saxy doesn't adjust well to surprises, but still, if mcat has concerns, he needs to come to me. if he gets extra money that's supposed to do take care of something for us, i'm the one he needs to talk to. any changes and saxy is off balance and grumpy for days. we agreed that i would manage the money because i do it well and he doesn't, so i need to be the one who gets talked to about any money issues. granted, saxy needs to stop freaking and leave it to me to deal with - i haven't let anyone down yet and he knows that. i guess he just doesn't know how to just let me deal with it? not sure.

anyway, the discussion now is about getting a car asap, which i totally understand. i hate imposing on them, but the area doesn't have a decent enough bus system to be useful to me. saxy was under the impression that mom sent mcat $1000 for a car. i received money from my aunt, money that's been used for rent and food and stuff; and now the word is that that money was the $1000. i think. i'm not sure. anyway, the first check went to a washer and drier, the rest to rent and food. so we don't have that money for a car. mcat kept saxy's check this week to help get a car, which makes perfect sense to me and i can work around okay - we've got money in the bank, we aren't hurting - but saxy was thrown off and i had to remind him to let me deal with it.

i dunno. something tells me if saxy had to manage the finances, we'd be in crises every week, not because we couldn't make payments, but because he'd be freaking about the payments he'd have to set aside for the following week. i love that man, but jeeze, sometimes i just wish he'd chill out and not react the way he does to sudden changes.

anyway, not sure what the deal is going to be on the car yet, but i'm sure mcat will figure something out. in the meantime, my hope is i won't have to impose too much on mjay for a bit. we still have to register oldest for school (one of the reasons this week was a long week); i finally have my birth certificate to transfer my license, but i think i may be able to wait a bit on it; and i'm supposed to do a walk-in checkup on my blood pressure, but i think that can wait too. which means the biggest concern is getting taz to and from school for the next week. which really is a big concern, but nothing like the running around of the last week.

the most exhausting thing for me this week, though, was my e.r. visit. i got bit by something and had a mild reaction to it . . . until it got infected. i was bitten sometime tuesday afternoon, we think by a spider, but i didn't see the little bugger so i'm not sure. i've had other bites like this - they swelled, then went away. i even had one on my other arm. it got big, but went away just about the time i was really getting worried about it. well this one wasn't so nice. by wednesday night i was so badly swollen and red that my wrist and hand were hurting and i was getting that odd tingle you get just before something goes numb.

that's when i knew i was in trouble.

i spoke to the ex on aim and he told me to call an ambulance and get to a hospital, so i woke saxy and did just that. i guess i'm kinda silly about the whole rush to the hospital thing. i always feel . . . like i'm being too much a burden, or too much a hypochondriac. i mean, it's not like i've lost a limb or am bleeding to death or something. but i went. we called mcat about picking me up and he said he would. so not only am i being a hypochondriac, i'm being an imposition too. *rolls eyes at self*

anyway, i left home around, oh, 1:30 a.m. i guess. i waited in the e.r. for at least an hour, probably an hour and a half before they took me back. anyway, they took some blood (freaking vampires - i'm just glad my kids can't see how badly a needle freaks me out (yes, i'm a wimp, leave me alone)). a nurse practitioner took a look at it and decided that whatever reaction i was having was being made worse by a raging infection. they did a diabetes test, then gave me keflex intravenously, plus prescriptions for more antibiotics and some pain killer, and ordered me to rest with my arm elevated for the next few days. i really couldn't do much of the resting part since we had to get kids registered, but i have done some. i don't think it's much of a big deal that i didn't rest. the whole arm looked much improved the next day. even the doctor i did a checkup with on friday said it looked good (although she was concerned about my high blood pressure . . . which i've never had before and i'm convinced has to do with all this moving stuff and not being able to write on a regular basis . . . and the "interim" diet we've been eating because the oven's not working).

you know how it goes . . . if it's not one thing it's something else entirely. we still have to get jewel registered for school because taz's interim i.e.p. went over long and we missed the time for the counseling office. lordy, getting her into school has been a nightmare. if i ever move from state to state again, it will be when i don't have to worry about kids being in school. what a mess.

really, there's been more going on that all that, but it's just too much to do a full update. one thing about this move, it's keeping me very busy in a lot of ways - lots of filler for the journal . . . when i can find the time, energy, and motivation to make an entry. when i can't, i'm just afraid some of the excitement's going to be missed. catching up makes for very long entries.