i don't know why i always do this to myself. things always work out, i know that. and what doesn't work out, well, i survive. i've always made it through and always will.

and i have a husband that loves me.

and somehow i always get some luck in there too.

it's just weird. wonderful, but weird.

anyway, hubby mentioned last night that he didn't know what to do for my birthday. he had his unemployment check in his hand, a paltry amount, and he's worried about my birthday. my husband never forgets me. we could be on our last dime and if it were my birthday he'd spend it on a tootsie roll just for me. anyway, i mentioned i had just enough on my credit card to pick the 2 dvd's for an anime series i really want and he told me to go for it. i had considered it before, but we had agreed to try to get that card away from it's limit.

however, with "permission" . . . . ;)

anyway, so i will be getting something i really want. and it ended up not being a big deal - my money for taking care of a munchkin a few days a week also came in. and with some of that we bought some chinese food from a place that delivers and that we adore, and saxy will get his birthday present as well. and later tonight, it's lamb for my dinner.

so, i get spoiled after all, a gift i want and my hubby's goooood cooking. the kids will have their birthday wishes for me too.

and his unemployment will go where it needs to: bills.

so, turning 40 isn't so bad at the moment. no, i haven't reached my dreams, or accomplished the things i wanted, but i'm working on it, have a man who loves me, have wonderful kids, and have good friends. and i can't forget the animals. ororo may not like me too much, but gypsy thinks i'm cool and i'm vagner's mama.

and my ex is actually talking about picking up the first season of a series i want, forever knight. i'm actually not holding my breath, considering how expensive it is, but between that and my anime films, i'd be quite the happy camper.

heck, just being remembered . . . well, that's good too.