well, it has, apparently been decided, that we will do what we can to get kitten into juilliard.

see, i have been telling my oldest her best bet is to go to a regular university so she can get a second degree in something that will support her while she does the entertainment struggle. the industry is cut throat with more gifted talent than it knows what to do with. the odds are it will take her years to get "discovered" if she's fortunate enough to be noticed at all. the other issue has been cost. juilliard has got to be the most expensive program i've ever seen, $32,190/year for an out of state, needs room and board kind of student minimum. yes, there's f.a. but we're already school loaned like nothing else and my mfa will cost us another $15,000/year in loans.

but at least one of my recent entries have shown my own resentment at having someone take away my own dreams when i was young. i just cannot do this to my daughter. this is what she wants. this is what she dreams of. dance is what she lives for. and we haven't been able to support her too well so far. it's time to change that. she doesn't have 20 years. no dancer does.

so, i told her that if this was truly important to her, she would start using and saving her allowance appropriately. if she needs dance shoes, she'll use her allowance to buy them rather than running off and buying whatever else is extra. she needs to start saving for her airplane ticket now for auditions in 2 years. when she gets home tonight, i'm going to tell her she needs to start looking for a dance studio and telling me how much it's going to cost to get her into one. don't know how i'm going to pay for it, but we'll find a way.

education still counts. she knows the auditions are brutal. we've been picking up and showing her some movies of how tough it can be to be a dancer and get into anything. if she doesn't get to where she wants to be, then she knows she needs to have enough of a backup plan to be able to get into another college. that means good grades and the required minimums for college admission.

i didn't have much support for my dreams when i was young, but my daughter will.

she's going to be a dancer.