attention deficit hyperactivity disorder tends to express itself differently in different people. there's something like 20 characteristics and a person can have any combination of them and be adhd. and, just to complicate the picture even further, those characteristics can be expressed in different ways. in my house we have 3 with adhd. my son, who is also autistic and developmentally delayed, has what most people consider the picture perfect adhd: distractible, always in motion, no control. my youngest girl is the chatty cathy kind of kid with no control. and mom here has "nervous energy" and an overactive mind. my poor husband, with no experience in these matters, is struggling to deal with three impulssive, forgetful people, and one with extraordinary amounts of energy (my son could solve the california energy crises - this kid climbs bookshelves for what he wants and, until we trained him not to, ran literally every where, even when tired).

actually, in my experience, almost everyone with adhd has nervous energy, some level of distractibility, and one other thing: insomnia. both kiddles have one heck of a time getting to sleep at night, shebop is talking, playing kind of kid, she just goes further than most talking, playing at night while supposed to be going to sleep kind of kids go. the girl is up and cannot understand why it is she gets caught all the time. my son combines his autism and adhd into a humming spin-fest. the louder he is, the more overloading the day has been. it used to go on for hours - sometimes i wanted to be in bed and he was still awake at 3:30 am humming and spinning away. now days his meds usually have him out before saxy goes to bed at 11. and me? well, if i'm in bed before 2 am, then i'm sick (or recovering from being up all night the previous night). hubby's really had a time adjusting to the fact that his wife's not in bed half the night, but he's learned forcing it makes us both crazy.

last night i was up till 4. tried to go to bed and couldn't sleep, so got back up till about 6:30. on the one hand i kind of like being a night owl. night is the quietest time of day in this house, and with 4 kids, a husband, a dog, and a cat, quiet is much appreciated. but 6:30 is just plain ridiculous. it was bad enough being up till 4. now my schedule will be all wacked out.

and today was a bad adhd day. i mean, i've been up since about noon and i've still gotten nothing done. it's like my adhd has adhd. i had things i wanted to get to, really i did, but i just couldn't seem to get it together long enough, or stay focused long enough, to get even one thing done. days like these make me seriously need (read want) my meds. unfortunately, they are out of the question right now. i'm short for gypsy's payment as it stands. we do have my first check in september slated for a full complement of refills. we shall see how that goes.

still, there is an up side to my version of adhd. see, my brain is on overdrive. this is part of the reason i am so easy to distract and tend to forget things in less than 5 minutes. but it's also what makes me highly creative. the problem is just catching it. i'm almost always on overload these days, in my head anyway.

thank god there are better days when the adhd factor is minimal. those are the days i need more of. come to think of it, i managed to get this done today and stayed on one topic. maybe there's hope for me yet.