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monday, december 24, 2002

remember how hubby and i were supposed to go to a movie today? it ain't happening. we're too broke and the trip to see the two towers is more important than seeing nemesis because we're taking the kids with us then. i'm fine with this, hubby is sulking. now, he will say "i'm not sulking, i'm just tired." but the only time he goes upstairs to lay down like this is when he's sulking. one thing i do know is my man. the really sad thing is we could have been planning to just wander around the mall doing nothing but precisely that and he'd still sulk if something prevented it. not as badly as he's sulking now, mind you, but he would indeed be upstairs in bed "being tired" for no good reason other than to sulk because his plans for the day were disturbed.

don't get me wrong, i understand him being disappointed. that's normal. but i also know that saxy has to be one of the most rigid people i know. disrupting any plans, no matter how insignificant, throws him off balance for the rest of the day and his reaction is to go upstairs and sulk. it's his way of "dealing" with changes without irritating me. i suppose i should be grateful that he's considerate enough to go sulk in another room rather than to sit in the same room and have his mood hovering on the edges of my awareness, but i don't understand the whole sulking all day thing.

he's a grown man who has had life harder than it is now and has had enough plans either canned or revised to know that this is life. you make plans, things happen, you react, you adjust. i can see being upset for quite some time if you have life goals disrupted, but this is just a movie. it used to be he was lucky to get to see movies. he used to be on the streets broker than broke. when he went to movies before that, his mother would take him, but during his street days he and his parents weren't talking. add to that the fact that we'll probably buy the dvd almost as soon as it comes out and i'm not sure i see the problem. especially since we'll try to see the movie in the theater in january, assuming it's still out. why can't he wait till then to sulk?

but seriously, he has his family, life isn't at an end, and he could still be spending time with me. he's no longer on the streets, he's talking with his parents and seeing movies with his mother again. we're broke, yes, but life could be a heck of a lot worse. and it just seems to me that adjusting would be a lot better than sulking. it certainly would make for a better christmas eve. going upstairs to talk to him about it, to get him to come downstairs and spend time with me, won't help. it'll only make his mood worse as he goes into denial and all that. i swear the man's passive-aggressive sometimes. so i'm leaving him alone.

not the christmas eve i imagined, with or without the movie. it's a lot lonelier right now.

site of the moment:
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word of the moment: resilience

the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress; an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change