stress reaction
saturday, september 28, 2002


today i began my customary stress reaction and by tomorrow i should be well into a full blown case of something. admittedly i am under a constant pressure most of the time anyway, but things can get out of hand and punch my stress levels even beyond my tolerance zone. over the last couple of days things have definitely been punching. the two near breakdowns and total emotional loss of control on wednesday started it, thursday's events continued it. no breaks in between only increases the power of these punches, so i expect to be laid up with whatever i'm coming down with for about a week at the very least.

so, thursday. thursday morning the ex indeed drove me up to check out the job opportunity in the a.m. i ended up having two problems with said job. first of all the hours are afternoons and evenings until 8pm. one, i need to be home in the afternoons for my son, especially if my husband can get a much better paying job than i can at the moment. i'm in that lovely little limbo space: my degree has yet to post (and i have yet to hear from bonehead about the papers i emailed), yet i am so close to the degree i'm over qualified for just about everything other than teaching, which, of course, i can't so until the degree posts. anyway, problem number two was that they don't take applications until 3pm. now the receptionist i talked to on the phone never mentioned this little fact and her response to "how much does it pay?' was, "nine, i think." quite obviously these guys do not have it together enough to encourage me to work for them.

then in the afternoon we had an i.e.p. for my son. while it went far better than i expected (the schools out here can be quite disagreeable and like to lay everything at the parents' feet), these things are always a stress for me. i know i'm usually going to have to argue with someone over what needs to be done. they are supposed to provide an optimal learning environment for these special kids and nine times out of ten they try to provide the environment easiest to achieve. the two options are not necessarily the same.

in this case there was an expressed issue of my son's newest medication. they are experiencing problems with him that they have never experienced before. the interesting this has been that they are the only ones. church only reports difficulties when his meds have been missed, the girls here at home don't have trouble (well, except for shebop, and she just likes to push his buttons for some reason), and his respite care worker has not reported any issues. in fact, we've all noticed a higher state of alertness and interest in his environment. then there are the other bonuses. he eats. i mean really eats. he asks for more. before the medication switch, he could have worn size 4ts if not so tall. because of his height we bought him 7 slims. his ribs stuck out. he was severely under weight. and we just could not get the kid to eat. now he's too big for the 7 slims and he's filling our nicely. he eats like a little piglet at school and asks for seconds at home. the second side affect is that he finally sleeps. he used to be up at least until 2 or 3 a.m., sometimes later, and i never felt comfortable, no matter how tired i was, going to bed if he was still awake. it's so nice to be able to choose to go to bed before 2 if i want to.

so, anyway, i went into the i.e.p. expecting to do battle. didn't happen. we worked out some things they could try (some things i think they should have been doing all along, especially knowing how regimented autistics can be), they are going to request an extra aide just for him, and they have someone checking into the issues surrounding the possibility of getting him a service dog. it would be pointless to get him one if the school is going to freak out over it, but i can see how it would help once the initial newness wore off for the class. the final paperwork that we signed on the i.e.p. was the thickest its ever been, but it seems to have been a very productive meeting. only time will tell.

now, after two days of punchy stress, i began having my usual gut reaction yesterday. cheese seems to have helped some, but i'm still queasy and now developing a sore throat and headache. headache alone would be a storm monster, but with the sore throat it has to be an immune system thing. basically i don't have one and just submitted it to higher levels of stress than usual.

pay back's a bitch.