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nerves
saturday, september 14, 2002


early next month saxy heads off to wisconsin. there are jobs there and a lower cost of living.

so why am i suddenly having second thoughts? why the nerves now?

we'll be starting practically from scratch. most of our furniture will be sold of and replaced. we can't afford a big truck or shipping costs and a lot of the furniture is just not worth the risk of bringing little critters with us.

i keep telling myself it will be ok. there's jobs out there. rents are lower. utilities are lower. the schools are better. the neighborhoods are safer.

but somewhere inside i worry it will be another failure. once more i will have tried something that will completely fail to take care of my kids. only this time i won't know the services and won't have any friends nearby.

i can't let irrational fear control our decision about this. the facts are what helped us decide this leap was worth the chance.

but i hope god is listening when i pray for it all to work out.

site of the moment:
Shades of Me
ring of the moment:
freewrite
word of the moment: iridescent

having or exhibiting a lustrous rainbowlike play of color caused by differential refraction of light waves (as from an oil slick, soap bubble, or fish scales) that tends to change as the angle of view changes or having or exhibiting a lustrous or attractive quality or effect