unfocused
tuesday, april 16, 2002


i seem to be having a problem with time management this quarter. the work isn't nearly as overwhelming or difficult as what i've had to deal with the last two quarters. and i am actually vaguely understanding shakespeare, so not nearly as lost in the class as i thought i would be. despite these positives, i am once again perpetually behind and getting more behinder by the day. and the only thing i can think of is that the last couple of quarters got me too used to being in a pressure cooker again, so i take too much time to "breathe."

it's not that i don't have time to take it easy at all. because i have less classes than i've had before, and at least 2 are not all that difficult. the problem seems to be finding the balance. the distinct lack of classes that i truly enjoy and chose because i wanted to take them isn't helping either. i'm less motivated to get back to work at the end of a break than ever.

ok, so senioritis may also play a part. i definitely am more than ready to get out of that school. in my heart, i'm done. and i really want space away from this particular university. there have been some very positive things there, but there have also been some things so aggravating that i just want to get out.

the end result is that i'm just not focused on school. i'm tired. i want to write. i want to move on. but i know i have to finish this quarter out. so i do some work, some reading, take a break a couple of hours later, and somehow never manage to get back. now things are piling and i am feeling 6th or 7th week panic in week 3. i'll make it through, but it certainly won't be a graceful ending to my education!