thursday, july 5, 2001
with my girl

today kitten and i spent a good part of the morning out together and bought her first adult non-stage makeup and to return some books she bought that i felt were inappropriate for my children. the girl is growing up. she has a figure. next year she's in high school and most the time i would spend with her will be taken up by her friends. mall time? friends. movies? friends. heck, i may be lucky if she wants to be seen in public with me any more. at any rate, we left this morning and came back after lunch and i think we had a good time. at least i did.

this summer with her is so much different than last year. last year we worked on her web site together and were talking a lot. it was a really nice summer with her, i felt very connected. this summer she is doing more whining about having nothing to do than anything. she wants to revamp her site because of the domain but even when the computer is available she does nothing. when she does get online, she checks mail then goes and plays some computer game. i feel more left out of her life this summer than last. i suppose the heat isn't helping, but it seems right now all she can do is whine and complain. where she used to be able to occupy herself, she now complains she doesn't "want to". you name it and she doesn't want to do it. she's only been out of school maybe a month and i am ready for her to go back. i enjoyed being with her last year, this summer is the summer of teenage angst, rebellion and asserting herself in all the wrong ways.

but this also may be the last summer when i don't compete with friends for time with her, so i am trying to give us something here and there. earlier we (saxy and i) took her to see a knight's tale which we all enjoyed immensely. today was the day to go get her make up. she hits high school next year and i know most of the girls, even in her grade, will be wearing it with the raccoon eyes and the lined-sans-lipstick lips and other tactless make up. i had originally decided on making the girls wait until they were 16 for make up (and with jewel i may do that, between color choices and clutziness she'd be a real nightmare), but kitten seems ready for it. and i want her to practice here at home where i can help her with more subtle make up than most the kids i see these days wearing, the kind that highlights and blends while accenting without screaming "i am made up!". so i decided to let her practice and work on it this summer so she'd be all set for high school.

despite our similar coloring, it was a bit harder to choose stuff for her than i thought. where i am more of a reddish brown, she's more of a creamy brown (though neither one of us is darker than the other). she needs burgundyish/reddish lip colors but not too dark. her skin tone proved harder to match than i thought and all burgundyish/reddish lip colors are dark. the good news is that we managed to match her coloring exactly and mom has secrets on how to lighten up dark colors. she also picked out a cute little black round case for to hold her new goodies. all in all it was a productive time for us.

i did discover that my girl and i are drifting even further than i thought in some ways. she's a huge reader and has read many of my fantasy novels. this is my primary genre. but when we went to return the books, she bought star trek and barely even glanced at the actual fantasy novels. the girl prefers science fiction! i can read science fiction mixed with fantasy, but hard sf is a bit much for me (although we picked up ender's game because so many people have talked to me about it).

but all in all it was a nice time. it was hot and humid, even rained for a bit (although we were inside at the time). but we spent time together, and talked, and i told her a funny story about her grandmother and i (one of the very few, perhaps the only one i can remember with linnorm's mother). not only did she get out of the house and have something to do but she also had a significant amount of money spent on her as well. all in all a good day for her. when we got home, she washed her face and tried to put on make up for the first time. some of the whininess came back then, but she worked her way through it and did ok for a first time.

as for me, i am seeing my girl grow up and away, and it is very hard. despite the killing heat, the humidity, the rain, and the frustration, i enjoyed being able to spend some time with just her. no other kids, no saxy, just my girl. i hope she finds a way to enjoy this summer, that we find a way to enjoy it with her. pretty soon there will be no more summers left for us.

i believe dr. dobson when he says a parent's job is to work themselves out of a job. but he forgets to mention how hard that is sometimes.