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monday, july 9, 2001
just stuff


i've been wanting to write, really i have, but massive amounts of pain changed that. i've been doing more reading when i've been conscious and sleeping off massive sinus headaches that nothing touches when not. very little computer time actually because of the pain. i'd read mail, did some work here and there, a few del rey reviews, but mostly the computer has been online without me (dsl). i know that sometimes adults can start having migraines even if they never had them as kids and i am really hoping i am not heading in that direction. but still, the last week or so i have had headaches that make me physically ill and nothing, not even aleve, seems to touch. just what i need, one more physical problem. anyone got a new body i could use? preferably thin and free of health issues.

tsf was off-line for quite awhile with server issues (basically, they didn't have one) and are finally back up. last week was their first actual fighting week in awhile. i've actually signed up to fight again and am waiting to hear on whether or not i am acceptable any more. the site has changed dramatically since the days of the lair (which i have decided to keep off-line, at least for now). i still try to keep it acceptable for kids, locking the more adult stuff behind password protection, and i have no problems with my kids roaming around my site, but child-safe means different things to different people. it may be a bit before i hear because even with so much of the site still down domynoe's is huge. i have too many interests and things i like. i pity the poor fairies that will have to check the site each week if i am accepted. i am also signed up to temp scribe, meaning i cover teams whose scribes are out for some reason. this week i write my first party mail in ages. i am also going to help with the inkwell newsletter. yes, i have lost it again. lol. but, honestly, i don't plan to fight too hard, signing a few guestbooks a week is no big (as long as i can remember to do it) and the blotter is once a month, no big. i have no intentions of doing more than that. when fall comes around, i want to be able to extricate myself as easily as possible if necessary...which it probably will be.

saxy and i are reconsidering my credential versus mfa program again. the credential plus work would give me a job, yes, but i may lose contact with the person who has offered to write a referral for me. with the mfa we'd still get income, although it would be a debt we would eventually incur anyway. summers don't count into the equation as either way i'd have no summer income. middle schools are on the traditional fall to spring schedule most of us are familiar with, so teachers of middle schools don't work summers and don't get paid summers. so we just have to decide what would be more advantageous for me: the mfa or the credential. i am leaning towards the mfa myself, now that i have an instructor who believes i am worthy of a program. but the credential...i dunno. is there anyway to do both? maybe emergency credential and work on my mfa too? but then i keep thinking about the 150+ papers i will be grading several times a week and just know i can't do both. i am sure whatever i decide, saxy will support me. not sure about a few other people, but most of them, like the ex-brother-in-law who thinks i was never a good daughter-in-law and that i will never go find a job (he's a politician and we all know politicians begrudge the poor getting an education, but he used to be my favorite of my ex's brothers. now he's just a jerk, a blind one at that), don't mean a whole heck of a lot to me any more. still the decision is a difficult one: what will be best for the family? what will be best for me? and are the answers to those two questions mutually exclusive?

i am actually getting quite a bit done this summer i think. and i think the planner is helping, even though i don't usually get everything i have written down in one day done. But pieces of the site, both new and old, have been and are going up at a fairly decent rate; updates are frequent, and other mush needed activities (such as reformatting saxy's pc) are also getting done. i am still spending time with the family and gaming, and even finding time to read. i don't think everything will be up by fall, and i have two huge sections that will be last on my list to even try to get back online (dominodesigns and seryn), but i am generally happy with my progress over all. The only thing suffering is my writing. i had actually made the decision to work on it just prior to the headaches hitting, but pain tends to wipe out creativity so i haven't managed to do much of anything since the headaches started. i need to get that under control and set myself up to work on my novels on a fairly daily bases, perhaps a regular time every day. But my schedule is once again all twisted around and school in september would probably disrupt any scheduling i manage to set up now. it's good to have a planner so i can decide what i need to do each day, but, even though i'd never keep it, i sometimes wonder if a more specific schedule with everything in a specific time slot would be a better idea for me. perhaps i should just be content with the fact that i am actually accomplishing things.

reading, site work, a day with my daughter, no major craziness on the 4th, a reformatted pc, burning all my stuff to cd. so far, it really seems like a very quiet, if productive, summer.

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Since July 9, 2000

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