wednesday, june 6, 2001
a few lights

whyspered moments got its first candle 3 days ago: this journal i was never sure would last hit its first birthday june 3!

have you ever heard something over and over and just have the light suddenly click on? something finally did for me. up 'til now i have always felt (other opinions not withstanding) that my writing is borderline juvenile. i mean seriously. it never struck me as mature and well-written, something that adults would want to read as well as kids. and i never could understand why other friends felt differently. admittedly, i am still not so sure about the latter, but something finally hit me this week. i hear about details, making things rich in details, and i know i am a visual reader, but it never seemed to stick in my own writing until this past monday. that's when i picked up an author imitation i had done in my writing class and got some of the best comments from my writing prof. and suddenly a light bulb went on. so i am revamping most of my work in accordance with this new light. will it help? no clue. one of the pieces has already received a very favorable rating followed by a devastating rating in a workshop group i am a part of. but i figure, since one of my stories is over 10 years old, a fresh look won't hurt. the biggest problem is focusing on the class work even though i'd rather be working on other things. it's all writing, but only my stories have a draw for me right now.

but! oh yes, there is a but: but there is a light at the end of the educational tunnel. it may be the train that's about to hit, but it's there! 2 class days left then finals. how's that for rushing along on a fast track totally unawares? classes are almost over and all i have to do is keep myself focused long enough to write one paper and edit another and do the less than 2 dozen class journal entries i need to have finished by the end of the quarter. sounds easy, eh? not really. my mind is already on summer. the good news is that the creativity seems to be coming back if in little drips and oozes. the bad news is i can't yet do as much with it i would like. i am actually not too worried about finals: one is open book/open notes and another is checking the portfolio we've developed in the class through the quarter. the third is for the man-bashing 101 class, but if that's the only one i actually have to study for then i can manage it. i will be incredibly happy when this quarter is over. i don't even want to think about next year.

and one of the lights of my life, my son, made it through surgery just fine. he was pretty much out of it yesterday (to be expected) but seems fine today. he isn't even showing signs of being in pain, so all is well. we were up and out of the house about 6:15 am or so and home about 9:30. he rested most yesterday, needed tylenol on and off, and went to bed fairly reasonably. today he is awake and doesn't seem to be in any pain. he's home all week, but it looks like it may not have been necessary to keep him. i'd rather be safe than sorry though, so he'll just settle here at the house for the rest of the week. next week he has his i.e.p., which i have yet to respond to because i still have to get a hold of his i.r.c. worker.

one other piece of good news: kitten got into the high school she wants with the dance program. she actually greeted this with somewhat mixed emotions: as much as she wants to dance, she is not at all happy about the homework. the fact that it doesn't matter what school she will go to she will still be held to c's in all her classes makes no difference. but the fact that the transfer form also says she is required to be in academic good standing to stay in the school literally made her cry. she has been steadily getting more hysterical of late and i am worried about her. hopefully the counseling she's in at the suggestion of her physician, and maybe medication for the add, will help even it out some, but i have a feeling we're in for a long haul with her. you know it's bad when they get the one thing they wanted and they are still unhappy. this is one light that i wish would shine a bit more brightly.