monday, january 1, 2001
a writing dilemma

writing is good. burn out is bad. a very simple concept i have to keep in mind. i am feeling the urge, the push to write, to work on my stories and the campaign at least one of them is based on. then i pick up the pages and draw a blank. i want to write, but feel lost as to how to proceed, how to rewrite. with the first chapter of silverhall, for the rewrite, i had to actually give myself permission to deviate from the original story line before i could do anything to improve the chapter. i think the rewrite came out well, but i also know it can be improved, probably drastically. but i know that a break from it would help me be able to improve it, so i turn to chapter 2. and get an absolute total blank. i WANT to work on it, but nothing comes to me except the advice of those who are reading: more character development, i don't quite know them; put the reader there with the characters; etc. all wonderful and much needed advice, but not helping me actually do any writing or rewriting. and while i would very much like to work on the uncrowned, i can't. the game hasn't started yet. now i could work on the campaign, that much is true, but i tend to stare at the rooms of the dungeon blankly for awhile before i manage to figure out what to put in them (ok, yes, i agree, i need to learn to go more simple - but then it wouldn't be as much fun!).

a new writing project is out of the question. i have my hands full enough as it is.

so that leaves eloquence, which is just a matter of typing stuff in that i wrote over the years, and my heart, which i am not depressed enough to add to. neither project is appealing at the moment. i generally suck at the short story, which leaves me only my journal and the inane chatter you are getting now. who knows, maybe it will clear out my system enough to work a rewrite, or get me up to where i feel i can work on the dungeon for the uncrowned campaign. i really need too. that campaign IS the basis for the novel on it and, as if i need any more incentive, the game is supposedly starting this weekend.

to add to the dilemma, certain people actually have me toying seriously with the idea of being published. (of course, the fact that i have someone threatening to camp on my doorstep until i submit my manuscript, once its ready, is a huge incentive in of and all by itself.) since i was young i have toyed with the idea of becoming a "great author". i don't know where, when or why it died, but it did. not that i think i even hold a candle to some of my favorite fantasy authors. heck, i seriously doubt i would actually get published. more than likely its all another pipe dream, just like dominodesigns has been. just because you like doing something doesn't mean you're great at it, or even good enough to make a living at it. but at least trying to be published is an intriguing idea. and a bit more pressure than i am sure i am ready for.

well, in seven days school starts. then i will have plenty to write.

just had to add a blurb...dominodesigns is number NINE on the google search for linkware! *faints*