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thursday 11.09.2000
get ready

the nightmares of going back to the university have begun a bit earlier than expected, but they have begun. yesterday, supposedly, i could actually register for classes. now would be the best time to do so as waiting too much longer will reduce my possible choices drastically. considering time constraints, i can't afford that. so i spent the past few weeks and most of yesterday trying to get everything set up so i could register, especially since i apparently qualified to register as of the first. this meant taking care of several holds on my registration: clearing a financial aid hold for not completing enough units before my leave of absence, a perkins loan hold for late payments, and education opportunities programs hold for a low gpa (being sick did that to me...went from a's to f's in the space of a quarter), a proof of residency hold (which made NO sense as i am a previous student and since when do puerto ricans have to provide proof of residency? we're americans for crying out loud!). so here i am...supposedly all ready to register.

the key word there is supposedly. i call and get a message that i can't do so yet. three phone calls and six people later i find i haven't been admitted to the college yet because of the residency hold. and the application won't be processed for another week. a week? i know the college is computerized, so why a week? a week may close any number of the classes that i need to take that are available when i can take them. i am so frustrated. getting back into the university shouldn't be this difficult! really it shouldn't.

add to this all the things going on at home and it has just been almost impossible to get even enough energy to work on putting my notes on disk. i know i need to jog my faulty memory, but am just too tired most of the time, or too busy with other things, to even give it a try. free time tends to be spent on the play station or with saxy. we have one teen beginning the teenage stuffiness and difficulties, second girl is appearing to start her women stuff early, and youngest...well, let's not go there. my son seems to be doing a little better, or at least no worse, which is a blessing all things considered. saxy is looking for a job. finances are a disaster. i have had 2 credit cards closed from lack of payment. i am struggling with trust, still waiting somewhere inside for saxy to go back to that person that hurt us so bad. my trust, my faith, was so damaged in the last few years. and i feel guilty for feeling that way.

so is it too much, with all this other stuff going on in my life, to expect/want/need reentry into the university to be easy? to not have to deal with any more red tape than necessary? to actually be able to register NOW, rather than in a week or two when my classes could be all full up?

in two months i go back to the university. i'd like to be prepared for this, preferably without having to pull teeth to do it. i'd like to focus on getting ready, not focusing on just trying to get my foot in the door. it would be really nice to have just ONE thing, such a small thing, be easy right now.

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