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too much
thursday, november 21, 2013

it's not that i don't think about writing in whysper, because i do. it's the busy. i don't work out of the home, but the baking (such as it is right now), exercising, house cleaning, all that living stuff keeps me busy. what time i do find ends up going into my writing, despite the long list of updates i need to do here and at alden.nu. i don't know how the published authors, agents, and editors manage to do everything they do and still keep up on things like the fifteen billion social media sites you "should" be a part of to get your name/books out there. it boggles my mind. really. i'm lucky if i catch even a dozen posts on my twitter feed with the measly 120 or so that i follow, and most days i don't even get to half what's on my to do list. some of these people follow several hundred and work a second job. not even the extra hour i hope to gain back once i reach goal weight will give me time to do that.

and now i have another two months of silence to try to catch up on. again.

and sometimes i think it's not like my life is all that interesting to begin with. things have gotten pretty stable. still have some money issues with saxy's hours trimmed a bit and the new car payment (the car payment alone was tough enough and ate what little bit of buffer we had, but the slow loss of hours recently hasn't helped; we're getting by, we'll have a halfway decent thanksgiving, it's just very, very tight). and i doubt too many read here anyway, so there's not much motivation when i have nothing to rant about or to work out in my head or whatever. which is sad, i suppose. there are a lot of other things to keep a record of other than the bad and the struggles of life.

for example....

last month i turned freakin' 50. kinda blew my mind a bit. well, a lot, actually. that feeling of not having accomplished much in 50 years kinda sucked. but i have raised 4 kids, helped more than a few writers grow as authors, touched more than a few lives here and there, helped my husband start on the path towards his dreams (this december 31st will see us married 16 years....just....wow). i may not have reached my stars yet, but i've not given up either.

speaking of which, i did have another short published this past month. "promises" is in the wrapped in red vampire anthology (amazon only at this time, unfortunately). it's really been a quiet year for publication, but i've also been focusing more on the novels than the shorts, and novels in general take a lot longer to deal with when aiming for traditional publication first and working your way down. assassin's is reaching the end of my small press list, and a friend and i are talking about putting together a small author co-op to publish it, along with other epic fantasy novels. we're in the early part of that discussion as the book is still out at a few small presses. self-publication isn't a step i'm taking lightly. it's a glutted market with too many poorly written and formatted books, and without the resources, it can be harder to make a book stand out. but assassin's is well written, has been edited to its eyeballs, and deserves to be out there. it's just not in a "hot" genre, and it's hard enough to get agents/publishers to pick up books that are in the genres that are selling. assassin's is very traditional, not edgy at all. it's the kind of epic fantasy i like, but that just doesn't get picked up all that much these days. the things that make it unique aren't enough to spark a deep enough interest. anyway, we'll see. i'd still prefer a decent small press (decent being the operative word there; i've worked with enough shit presses to not want to go there with my work—a press with a rep for quality is more important than just getting the book published). if none of the few left on my list pan out, then my friend and i will revisit the idea of the co-op. we've already discussed how we want to make sure we do it right (for example, having an editor as part of the co-op other than myself).

meanwhile, charms is at the last few agents, most with queries, one with the full. responses have been fairly positive despite the rejections, so at this point, it's just a matter of finding it a home. i have several small presses slated to send it to next, assuming the agents all pass. in charms case, the problem is more the glut of urban/angel/fairy stuff than anything. agents have all said it's well written, characters and setting all work, it's just coming down to whether they feel strong enough about it to fight for it on the market. sadly, that's what it comes down to sometimes. more than one has invited me to submit other work in personal rejections, which is more than assassin's got. so even if the agents all pass, hopefully it'll find a home in the upper end of the small presses i'm looking at sending it to next. we shall see.

so far, i've been surprisingly healthy this fall/going into winter. allergies, one amazingly short bout of flu or something, and now a mild (if somewhat irritating) cold has been about it. the weight loss has been annoyingly slow until this past week or so, but i finally hit the halfway point this week. another 82 to go, which i hope will go faster than the first 83 since i'm not going alone. i've finally hit my "drop" period, where the weight seems to come off faster (summers are annoyingly slow, with losses as little as 5 pounds for 3 or 4 months; over last fall/winter, i lost 20 over the same). my bp is down, my measurements are going down, and my headaches are much much milder. i haven't been in bed from one in a long time, actually. still get them when there's huge pressure changes, they just aren't migraine level, thank god.

youngest just got a part time job at wendy's (manager said he couldn't hire her full time because of the a.c.a., but yes they could, the corporate companies are just dicks). she seems to be finally figuring a few things out, it's just slow going. we're giving her until june to get it together or get out, because, my god, as much as i love my girls, i'm done. i have to keep taz, but i'd really like a break otherwise. i've raised my kids; this is supposed to be the time to focus on my stuff, and i intend to do so as much as possible.

which still leaves me with too much to accomplish in a day. anyone got another few hours they can spare for me? not that they'll help much, but i figure every little bit counts. lol


word of the moment: chatoyant
having a changeable luster or color with an undulating narrow band of white light

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