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hanging on tight
wednesday, august 27, 2008

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we're still waiting to hear back from the county for the bus job, and boy is it cutting it close for us. i honestly don't know how saxy will react if they don't call by the end of the week (though my plan is to try to calm him down and have him call on monday since not calling could mean anything including missing paperwork), but even i have to admit this is cutting it awfully close. our financial choices are car and food or rent. we're not getting enough in to do anything else, and that's stressful, especially since meds need to be refilled (and, in taz's case, must be refilled). and, really, you can not be without a car down here. the public transportation is just AWFUL.

still, i think i'd be handling it better if it weren't for the weather. while i don't have full blown sad, i am affected by the weather. this past week has been all gray skies and rain, and by day 3 i was ready to find a hole and just stay there. we're supposedly going to get some clearing this week (which is possible since last night really was quiet after midnight), but who knows with gustavo making its way towards the u.s.

heck, fay wouldn't leave poor florida alone, for that matter; it kept leaving and going back. so even though the current weather is remnants of fay and should be dissipating, who can say? she might get stubborn and reform over florida one more time for good measure, sending her evil vibes our way.

the first few days weren't too bad; mostly partly cloudy skies, no rain, a drop of sunshine here and there. then it started becoming more solidly overcast and i started dragging. by the time the rain hit, all i wanted was a deep, dark cave to hibernate in, which, of course, i can't do since i'm the mom and i get the kids off to school. when you're in that place, everything looks worse. my writing looks worse, the fact that taz has come down with a very mild cold looks worse (he's staying home today), and so on. so, even if you're generally a person who hangs on because things always work out kind of gal like me, when in this find me a cave mentality being painted into a corner looks worse too.

and, for now, i'm blaming it all on hurricane season. without hurricane season, things wouldn't look so bad, and a cave wouldn't look so good.

okay, so not having the first illness of the season, however mild, ready to make its rounds in the house doesn't help any.

but, really, this weather seemed out to get me this past week. i'd get on the comp to work on editing related stuff, and it would get darker. when the rains started, the thunder would choose that moment to rumble. so i'd get off and let the rain run its course, even wait to see if it was going to stay quiet. and it would...until i got back on the comp. stupid weather was chasing me off the machine!

no wonder all i wanted to do was sleep. :P

the trick right now is to keep hanging on tight. the landlord is still working with us. things look hopeful to a degree with the county. linnorm is giving us a little extra as he can. we're still getting care packages from a friend or two. it's not the best situation, but it's not the worst. and somehow we'll make it through.

and if i sound like i'm trying to convince myself, well, just blame fay.

stupid hurricane.


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word of the moment: effervescent

giving off bubbles; used of wines and waters; charged naturally or artificially with carbon dioxide; marked by high spirits or excitement
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