this entry is for one person only: my beautiful girl who this evening graduates from high school.

last year, together, you and i made a tough choice: the choice to let you stay in california with your father to finish out high school. i've hated every moment of that choice, but most especially as you come to the end of your time in high school. i should have been with you to help pick your prom dress and see you off on prom night. i should have been at every one of your dance performances, cheering you on, encouraging you to keep going when you got distracted or it got tough. i should have been there for you to talk to as you made important decisions regarding your relationship with your fiancé. i should have been there to harass you into doing your homework when other things distracted you.

but, mostly, i should have been there for you, as both your friend and your mother.

and i should be there tonight as you walk and accept your diploma.

but we both know that the decision for us to move was the best decision made for this family, even though we had to leave a piece of us behind. for 17 years i worried over you, struggled over you, loved you, provided what i could to help you become a responsible young lady. for this last year, there wasn't much more i could have given except myself; and for this last year, you needed to break away and become your own person. this last year was yours, despite living with your father. it was yours to decide your future, to take the lessons i tried to instill and apply them in that haphazard manner of a young one just finding her way. it was yours to become the person you needed to be. i wish i could have been there to see you find your wings, but we both know it would have been a lot harder if i had been.

today takes you out of childhood forever. it's a step that your father alone will be watching and taking pictures of. but know too that it's a step that i watch in my heart, so very proud of how you've turned out with your young wisdom and oldest child responsibility.

take to your wings and fly.



with all my love,

mama.