child peace
wednesday, november 13, 2002


this morning we woke up to peace and quiet. it is rare that we don't have the children around to find a way to wake us up, but the kiddos were gone today. and it is so nice.

for the longest time my ex, linnorm, and i didn't have a traditional visitation agreement. his schedule wasn't really conducive to the kids coming over for a weekend every other week. heck, he was lucky to get two days off in succession at all. so we had a far more open visitation agreement that, unfortunately, didn't include time over at dad's over night. not that this was too different for me; even when we were married i might as well have been a single parent.

anyway, basically, the only day i insist on having the kids is for christmas day. other than that, linnorm is allowed to have the children any time he wants. in the past that meant they were home by bedtime and i have had the joys of the morning chaos every day since they were born. even sunday when they go to church hasn't been completely peaceful because, although they leave early, they leave from my home.

mornings around here get pretty chaotic. there's lots of banging (we have yet to figure out why they can't open and close doors and drawers quietly, but apparently they can't), sometimes lots of bickering. jewel has to tell shebop what she can and can't wear. on weekends there is chores to do and kitten bitches at jewel for waking her up. and, of course, taz is humming and talking, usually very loudly. and if that doesn't wake me up, then someone finds a reason to wake me up, whether it be a question they know the answer to or a huge blow up fight not only involving the children but also the husband or anything in between. something happens every morning. it's like the unofficial law in this house.

a few months ago, linnorm started getting two days off together on weekends and i decided it was time for him to have kids. for a bit he was able to get two weekends off a month. and oh the peace of not having the kids here in the morning just cannot be expressed. don't get me wrong. i love my kids. but it is nice to get a break every so often. when linnorm's schedule returned to rarely including weekends, i told him that he should still take the children when he has two days off in a row, even if it's in the middle of the week. the big issue is, of course, getting the kids to school, but the man has a car so he can manage. it is easier for him when two or more are off-track, but not impossible when they are all in (although i do understand his reticence about it since they go to four different schools).

i had a friend who hated sending her kids to their father. mind you, there were other issues there, but her primary complaint to me was that she missed her kids. and she always warned me that when linnorm and i went to a more standard visitation i would miss my kids too.

maybe somewhere inside i do miss my kids, but, for the most part, i enjoy the time off, the peace and quiet, and, of course, being able to sleep in and wake up on my own in my own time. it's like a mini-vacation only cheaper.