on hold
monday, august 12, 2002


it's been hot and i've been unpleasantly sick since about the middle of last week. ever try 103-105 degree temps plus a 101 degree fever at the same time? trust me, it's not fun. we've all been sleeping a lot because of the heat. i am really remembering why i hate california summers. being sick hasn't helped either. the good news is i seem to be getting well a lot faster than expected. i'm anemic and my typical pattern is to get sick too easily and stay sick for too long. i had the flu for 6 weeks once. but this seems to be clearing up after only 4 days, so we'll just hope it keeps getting better.

things around here just seem to be on hold. we're doing a lot of waiting. i'm waiting for my cbest results so i can sub. we're waiting for a desperately needed check that's owed to saxy from his previous employer (only took them a year to contact us about it - with a final notice no less. we never received any previous notice, but they claim to have sent some!). three of the kids are back in school, number 4 should be starting next month.

saxy's going back to school seems to be in a state of flux. his appeal for his 'f's to be removed because of a medical issue we had no clue about at the time he got them was denied, which means we're on our own in paying for classes the first quarter. this is going to be difficult at best. there's paper work problems as well. suffice it to say, he's very frustrated right now.

my school thing is, at this point, a lost cause. i am needed here at home. i need to do some kind of part time employment and i need to spend some time beefing up my resume. in all honesty, my college did not prepare me for any kind of real writing. there were too few courses and the classes themselves were too general. so, i'm taking classes at hollylisle.com (they're free), as well as trying to teach a few. i'm also hoping to get something in print soon, even if it's for a freebie magazine. just something to break the ice.

despite the fact that we're really desperate financially, i can't really work full time yet. for one, there's nothing really out here except teaching and nursing. full time teaching would require my credential which would require 2 more years of school. i won't put my son in day care and risk the abuse and neglect that often happens to disabled kids, even if we could afford to pay for it (which we really can't). anything like that would probably make him regress and we've worked too hard to get him here to risk that. and, with hubby trying to get back into school, he would need day care if i went back to school again. it may take some time to build up a rep as a good sub, but hopefully that will work out for us. in a couple of years i'm hoping taz will be more manageable by one of the girls and then i can think about full time work. in the meantime, i will help hubby learn to work around his disability and be here for my son and my other kids. while i do that i can sub and write. still, on more thing on hold.

even my novel is on hold until i get the world building i need done.

i suppose i should enjoy this while i can (despite the heat), but on hold has never been one of my favorite places to be. i've always been a person that likes things resolved as quickly as possible.

me, impatient? naaaaaaaaaaaaa.....