thursday, september 13, 2001
foot sore

before i go into my entry, let me say this: i hope you and yours are safe and whole. for those who lost loved ones, i am so very sorry. there is nothing more i can say that wouldn't sound trite or meaningless in the face of such a horrendous act. most of all my heart hurts for the children, for those who are suffering because of this - like my daughter who's distress came through loud and clear the other night when she said, "mom, there was a child care in there." may god, or whatever spiritual force you believe in, be with you all.

~~~

i have never really talked about my feet. i have plenty of health issues, some of which i touch on but hardly discuss in whysper, others i just don't talk about. there's nothing anyone can do about my back, and as long as its not touched in a particular spot i'm fine, so why discuss it? i have mentioned that some days i feel like a walking pharmacy, the adhd and a few other things, but, for the most part, unless it has an immediate dramatic impact on my day, why bother? so i have never really discussed the problems with my feet, problems which finally may be on their way to being solved.

and most of you probably have no idea what a relief that is.

i used to have wonderful feet, pretty, nice toes, neat nails (ok, so my toes are almost long enough to be prehensile, but they still were nice!). but i have also been a "barefoot baby" almost all my life. not the best of things to do these days, as i found out. apparently i picked something up somewhere and have had problems with my feet ever since. not only are my feet not so pretty any more, but they are incredibly sore and itchy most of the time. half the time i walk around like some fragile, little old lady trying to be careful so she doesn't break any bones. they have been that painful. awhile back i started getting these nasty little blisters that were below the skin, very tiny, and itched/burned like hell if you didn't clean them out. the fluid wasn't the usual clear liquid of most blisters either, it was a kind of a pale milky color. once cleaned up, the skin around them discolored and dried out. overall a very unpleasant experience. my regular doctor had no idea what the blisters were and for the rest prescribed an extremely expensive cream for the dry skin problems that irritated more than helped. i stopped using that and started using a regular lotion instead (jergens ultra healing lotion for extra dry skin, to be exact - that stuff ROCKS!). as long as i used the lotion, the peeling, cracking and most the other skin related problems seemed at least managed.

this weekend, i noticed a very painful bump on one of my little toes. several years ago i had a problem with cysts, a BAD problem with cysts. i had to have surgery to have one removed from an ovary and one on my back became infected and had to be taken care of as well. at first i thought the bump on my foot was another one of these damn blisters. but cleaning it out (the little bit i could) didn't help and over the next few days it developed differently. having had previous experience, i figured it was a cyst gone bad as i have had a few others show up (although none of the others have gone bad as of yet). there was no way to take care of this on my own so i made a doctor's appointment to get the thing lanced.

well, he wasn't able to do anything about the cyst quite yet. for one, the toe itself was swollen and the bump is right on or under the tendon. too risky to do anything until it is cleared up enough that he can go in there and take care of it without messing with the tendon. but the other problem was all this other stuff going on with my feet, he looked everything over and then prescribed a cream to fight an infection and some antibiotics that have proven helpful with infections of the feet. i was both astonished and relieved. someone could do something about the mess my feet have been in.

i've been on the medications and putting cream on my feet for two days now and the results are wonderful! the cuts and peeling and associated problems were dramatically reduced just the next day! i still have some itchiness, but the pain is gone and i no longer have to walk around like i am afraid i'm going to break something. i'm still cautious, but i can see myself able to go grocery shopping again without being in agony. this is a very good thing as i have to cross campus four times for my tuesday-thursday classes starting the 20th. to be able to do so with minimum pain will be just wonderful.

the doctor has suggested i get a spray for my shoes and replace the older shoes if i can. one more expense we really can't afford but that has to be done.

and, after this, i think i will be more cautious about going barefoot.