wednesday, march 14, 2001
up too late

yes, i have snuck on for an entry. i have thought about writing all week, but have just been buried in homework and no sleep. tonight, well, more accurately this morning (it is 4 a.m.) i finally finished creating the note cards for my communications research paper (due thursday, don't ask) and find myself with TWO HOURS before i have to be up. all things considered, i will nap later today AFTER class. i go to bed now i will never wake up in time. of course just THINKING of being up all night has me yawning like crazy, but i can't afford to miss another day of class. considering i have stayed up all night at least two or three ties over the past week (sick and all) to work on this paper, i know i can do it. whether i want to or not is no longer an issue.

welcome to hell week. that week before finals when students and instructors alike (and, as a result, their families) are just down right nuts. we're rushing to finish projects (my communications research paper is a case in point), generally unavailable for much of anything outside school tasks, bitchy, and just generally out of our minds. finals week can fall into hell week for some, but not for me. everything will be in and all i'll have left is studying for the actual tests. with one test a day, THAT i can do.

but until then insanity reigns supreme.

when i am done here i will actually start the paper itself. in a way i can't wait for it to be done - it has hung over my head for far too long! i am sure the emotional let down will be huge. all this hype and motivational garbage i have thrown at myself just to get the darn thing done will seep away and i will just wilt, despite the fact there is another paper i have to refine for friday and a third i have to write for monday. it seems to never let up. this paper did teach me one very valuable lesson: i can no longer write term papers in 3 or 4 weeks (or even 5 weeks, i think). so, beginning next quarter i will have to check my syllabi for my classes and if they have any term paper kind of assignments, get the info on those early so i have the entire quarter to get them done. my biggest problem has been trying to keep up on the reading for the class. doing that seems to interfere with doing everything else (guess what i am behind on for the finals?). i just don't have it in me anymore to sit literally all day and do nothing but homework. and even if i could, i think my anemia taught me a lesson too: pace yourself, take breaks, eat right, rest - take care of your body above all else because not doing so has extreme long term detrimental effects.

next week will be interesting in other ways. saxy has surgery on monday, assuming he gets well. this left me with a bit of a dilemma. saxy will be home in pain and drugged up during finals. taz returns to school on monday, but froggy is home for another 2 weeks. is leaving an active (yet well behaved) 8 year old at home with someone in pain, drugged up and supposedly bed ridden (however temporarily) a good idea? my conclusion: NOT! after discussion with instructors, 2 of my finals were rescheduled for later in the day, the third will remain at the time and place it is, and little froggy will go with me all 3 days to keep her out of saxy's hair. she is also going with me today and tomorrow and maybe friday, as well as monday, to try to reduce the novelty of it and help her settle more quickly on final days. we bought her a special art set and coloring books just for her "school days with mom".

in other news, my two older girls wanted their own domains and are willing to pay for them. so stop by phoenixcat.com and jewelsbox.net and congratulate them. you will also see more family support over at insights & inspirations so go check it out! one final small note of no consequence, i am considering redecorating the rest of the .com, what do you think?

as of tonight i think icq is finally dead for me. i can't get anyone to talk to me on it anyway. if they aren't on msn or aol i guess that's just the way it goes. it's behaved itself since i removed icq plus, but why have an unused program on my system? rant over, icq being uninstalled as i type.

and still no tax return. why does it take the irs so long for an electronic deposit?? i don't get it, i really don't

off to do that paper . . . anyone got any coffee?