there's been a big question of late as to when my financial aide fro school will be arriving. according to the loan company, the end of this month. according to the school, the middle of nest month. the end of this month isn't bad. the middle of next month could be REALLY bad, considering classes start on the 8th and you can't afford to be even a day behind on the quarter system. either way, at least the fees are covered so that's one thing i won't be worrying about along with books and supplies.

but between now and then i am sittig here considering and planning on what to do to make our lives easier. i already know of the necessities - books, supplies, catching up on utilities and some clothes. i have summer tents, totally comfortable for me in the house but completely inappropriate for winter university attendance if only because of the chill and rain factors. not counting the actual grants (which will probably be kept aside for monthly expenses), that leaves me almost $1000 to figure out. so i have been sitting here running over the things we nned/want in my head over and over. and so far have spent it at least five times over. one thing for certain. i am clearing one of my cards so i can use it in the future for books/supplies when the loans are late. if i am going to finish this out, i want no glitches to set me off track and oput me behind. i just can't risk that right now.

what would really help with all this planning is if saxy gets the job he's up for now. we'll find out tomorrow or tuesday. cross everything in spirit for him, we need this way too much. it doesn't pay as mucg as his previous job but it IS work. and the best news? when we qualify for insurance in 3 months we will not need to change doctors. they use the same carriers. so we really need this. i mean REALLY need this.

and just an fyi? no, i haven't gone through my checking account record and fixed it. i keep looking at it all and saying, "another day, not today, its too much". yes, i know, i have to do it eventually. i am just not looking forward to it.

however, in other news, we are finally getting back on track otherwise. i have been sleeping fairly normal hours the last couple of nights and hope to keep up on that particular schedule (knock on wood). i am still sleeping a bit late and taking afternoon naps, but am getting to bed before 4 a.m. and up before noon. this is one step towards early a.m. rising which classes are going to require. because of my son's schedule, i take morning classes. my first class is january 8 at 8 a.m. taz will be sent off to school by dad, if saxy is working. 8 a.m.! its insanity, really. the world doesn't start til 10! doesn't anyone know that??? regardless, i will be up and out of the house at an ungodly hour so i can be back before taz gets home from school. after christmas i will have to have the kids start getting me out of bed in the morning so i can get on track the rest of the way. once i get used to being up at 7, hopefully being up at 6 won't be too much of a leap.

yea i know, i'm dreaming. but we have to think positively here! i will get up at 6, make it through the school day (boy does it feel wierd to be thinking about that again), get home and . . . promptly pass out until the kids get home.

no dream is perfect.